Am I raising my child the right way?
This question pops up in the parent’s mind every now or then. With the passing time, several parenting techniques have been raised to the surface. People support different parenting styles according to their nature and mindset.
Today We’re gonna talk about this helicopter parenting style and its effect on children.
So, let’s began.
Who Are Helicopter Parents?
Every parent wants their child to perform the best in life. Some parents just go over the board with their over-supportive and hyper-involvement nature.
Helicopter parent meaning is the parents who pay overly close attention. They are extremely focused and consider themselves responsible for the failure or success of their kids. This term is given to define helicopter parents because such parents keep on hovering above their kids.
Characteristics of Helicopter Parents
You surely don’t want to suffocate your child being the hovering parents all the time. Let’s go through the characteristics of helicopter parents and the things helicopter parents do.
- If your child can’t get along with something, you jump to fix it yourself to finish their struggle.
- Speaking/answering on behalf of your child, rather than letting them answer on their own.
- Hovering around your kids to make sure that everything goes perfect and nothing bad happens.
- Getting your child ready by helping them from taking a shower to tying their laces, just to be on time
Types of Helicopter Parents
To define helicopter parents in detail then generally, they are categorized into four types.
Reconnaissance Helicopter Parents
Reconnaissance parents get involved in their child’s life in unobtrusive ways. It is the most common type of helicopter parent. Being less aggressive than other parents, they play a major role from the school homework to the child’s career.
They will get all the required information for any task, do all the basic research, and work for their child’s job.
Low Altitude Helicopter Parents
The low-altitude helicopter parents bring up their children with posturing techniques. They not only do the basic struggle for their children but move a step forward by doing the basic tasks for them. They work from doing their homework themselves to act as their agent in professional life.
They connect with their teachers and bosses and keep a close eye on whatever the children are doing.
Guerilla Warfare Helicopter Parents
This type of parent is very aggressive in dealing with their children. They are very controlling and handle every matter themselves. In case the child of a guerilla parent gets rejected somewhere, they would even fight and argue in their place.
7 Signs of Helicopter Parents
Let me tell you some helicopter parents’ stories through the 7 signs and things helicopter parents do. If you are behaving like this, then you are surely a helicopter parent.
1. You do their homework
If your child can’t finish off his homework on time or get frustrated while doing it. You just jump in and start solving it for them thinking that they can’t handle the stress.
2. Playing it safe
Helicopter parenting effects can stunt the kids’ mental and physical development by constant intervening. Like, a helicopter mother saying such things to kids all the time, “Do not jump from the bed.” “Do not take the swing too high.”
3. Fighting for your child
If your child has a conflict with a friend, you just step in by interrogating their friends or calling the friend’s parents or teachers. You fight with their situations instead of them.
4. Instructing their teachers
Helicopter parents tend to do a corner meeting with teachers/coaches for every little hurdle their kids face. They just start instructing them that how a certain thing should be done.
5. Doing all the chores for your children
A helicopter mother starts the day from making the kids’ beds in the morning to cooking, washing, and cleaning their mess. You just can’t be a maid for your children, especially if they are teenagers.
6. You don’t let them go through trial and error
If your child is doing a crossword and he can’t find the last word. You feel a sudden urge to tell them. You can’t see fidgeting them with it anymore.
7. Keeping them close to you all the time
You just keep a close distance from them all the time. It’s a birthday party, playing in the garden or a play date. You are a hovering parent, always interfering for smaller reasons.
Opposite of Helicopter Parent
If you have the helicopter parenting signs and you want to convert. Then fencing and free-range parenting style is the exact opposite of helicopter parent.
Fencing is raising your children with limited supervision and allowing them to function independently.
Allowing your child to hold a dumb knife, even it is not as dangerous. By such small acts of independence and responsibilities, children feel that their parents entrust them to be responsible. Considering the age development and risk, they are given the entitlement of managing things.
Helicopter Parents VS Lawnmower Parents
Lawnmower parents are believed to mow over any struggle or problem that their kids might face. The characteristics of helicopter parents and lawnmower parents are quite the same.
A Helicopter mother constantly reminds their kids to complete their homework and checking over them continuously. Lawnmower parents would jump in and complete the homework themselves.
Snowplow Parenting VS Helicopter Parenting
Snowplow means to clear the snow off. Similarly, snowplow parents remove every kind of obstacle from their children’s path to give them a smooth life.
If we compare helicopter parents vs. lawnmower parents, where helicopter parents are constantly around their kids to remove any difficulty, snowplow parents interfere and fix it already for them. Many studies have proved that the children who grew up with such parenting styles cannot face failure and have dependent and confused personalities.
How to Deal with Helicopter Parents?
If you have found the signs of helicopter parenting in yourself, you can still fix it.
- First, ask yourself, that do you want your child to get along in life always being dependent on you? Of course not! So just let them be free and learn things.
- Allow your kids to be independent at times. Let them fail and struggle to achieve their goals.
- Let them do the job that they can do physically and mentally and let them master it.
- If your child has a conflict with someone, do not meddle in. Teach them skills to handle such situations.
- Allow them to take decisions according to their age, from choosing their clothes to their classes.
No parenting style is the best. However, things helicopter parents do affect their development of skills and personality negatively.
Now you know how to deal with helicopter parents. Analyze yourself that what kind of a person you are raising for the future. Trust me, giving them the right amount of independence, authority, and stepping back will be best for you both. The things helicopter parents do; they may not be even aware that it is actually harming than good to the children.
Do you have any of these characteristics of a helicopter parent? How do you plan to deal with them?
I would love to hear your strategies.